Feeling Stuck In Life? Here Are 8 Tips To Break The Impasse

Do you ever feel like you're sinking in quicksand? The harder you struggle, the deeper you seem to get. That's what being stuck in life feels like. It's a state of mental and emotional paralysis, where you see no way out of your current situation.

““If we stay where we are, where we’re stuck, where we’re comfortable and safe, we die there. We become like mushrooms, living in the dark, with poop up to our chins. If you want to know only what you already know, you’re dying. You’re saying: Leave me alone; I don’t mind this little rathole. It’s warm and dry. Really, it’s fine.

When nothing new can get in, that’s death. When oxygen can’t find a way in, you die. But new is scary, and new can be disappointing, and confusing - we had this all figured out, and now we don’t. New is life”

— Anne Lamott

This inaction, passivity, or stagnation the American novelist Anne Lamott is referring to can either control us or we can take control. If we don’t do anything about feeling stuck in life, it can affect everything from our relationships to careers and growth. It leaves us feeling frustrated, anxious, and unsure of what steps to take next, making us feel powerless to change our circumstances or move forward.

Do we have to accept that there’s no way out? Do we have to stay stuck or stay in a life limbo? The answer is NO.

In this article, we are going to look into this life paralysis and equip you with practical strategies to break free from this rut and move forward with renewed purpose.

A. What’s the Meaning of Feeling Stuck?

The meaning of feeling stuck lies in the perception of being trapped or blocked, unable to make progress or find a way out. It’s often accompanied by a sense of inertia, where even small tasks or decisions feel overwhelming.

This state can be temporary, caused by a specific situation or challenge, or it can be more chronic, reflecting deeper issues such as fear, self-doubt, or lack of direction.

For example, You’ve been in the same job for years, and despite your efforts, you haven’t been able to advance or find fulfillment in your current role. Or Your relationship has lost its spark, and you’re unsure how to reignite the passion or whether you should stay in the relationship.

This limbo where your life seems to be on pause can leave you feeling the following:

Powerless: Like you have no control over your circumstances.
Overwhelmed: Making even small decisions feels burdensome.
Frustrated: A yearning for progress is met with a lack of direction.
Anxious: Uncertainty about the future fuels worry.
Discouraged: A sense of hopelessness sets in.
Temporary Blips or Deeper Roots? Understanding the Causes

Feeling stuck can be temporary, triggered by a specific challenge like a job setback or relationship issues mentioned above. However, it can also be chronic, rooted in deeper issues such as the following:

Fear: Fear of failure, change, or the unknown can paralyze you.
Self-doubt: A lack of confidence can make it hard to take action.
Lack of direction: You may not know what you want or how to achieve it.

The first step to breaking free is understanding the essence of feeling stuck. This requires introspection: a deep look inward to identify the roots of your stagnation. What underlying fears, doubts, or lack of clarity are holding you back? Acknowledging these barriers can help you break free and regain control of your life.

“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. ”

— Alan Watts

Change, while daunting, is often the catalyst for progress. It can break the monotony and slump that many of us get stuck in. This could be due to our fears, resistance to change, or the will to take the step to move forward.

In the next section, we’ll delve deeper into the psychology of feeling stuck, exploring its causes, effects, and most importantly, practical strategies for getting unstuck and moving forward towards a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

Discover insights, tips, and actionable advice to help you navigate through life’s challenges and find your path to personal growth and success.

B. The Psychology of Being Stuck in Life

Being stuck in life can be a frustrating and overwhelming experience. It often feels like you’re trapped in a cycle of indecision or lack of progress, unable to move forward. Understanding the psychology behind this feeling can help you break free and take control of your life by understanding the following:

The Grip of Fear: Many of us are afraid to take risks or make changes because we worry about what might happen if things don’t go as planned. This fear can paralyze us, making it difficult to make decisions or take action.
The Cycle of Negative Self-Talk: Our inner critic can become a relentless adversary when we're stuck. Negative self-beliefs like "I'm not good enough" or "I'll never achieve my dreams" fuel feelings of inadequacy and discouragement, keeping us stagnant.
The Allure of Comfort Zones: We crave predictability and stability. However, clinging too tightly to our comfort zones can stifle growth and limit our potential. Feeling stuck often stems from the resistance to venturing outside our comfort zones, even if it means missing out on opportunities for progress.
Loss of Direction and Purpose: Without a clear sense of direction or purpose in life, it's easy to feel lost. This lack of clarity leads to confusion and indecision, making it difficult to take action and move forward.
Cognitive Distortions: Our thinking patterns can become distorted when we're stuck. Assuming the worst will happen, things in extremes create a distorted view of reality, making it difficult to make sound decisions or feel motivated.
The Road to Perfection: The all-consuming need to make everything perfect can be an obstacle to progress. I’ll wear this dress when I've lost the extra 5kg or wait until I have more training to try this new sport that can stop us even before we attempt anything.

There is no right or wrong moment - there is only the moment we act, braving the unknown for a better future, getting closer to our goals, and living in alignment with our values.

In my journey, I have faced moments where I felt trapped, unable to see a way forward. Whether it was on the cricket field, facing a challenging opponent, or in the boardroom, grappling with complex business decisions, I have learned that feeling stuck is a natural part of the human experience.

My background in neuroscience and psychology and my certification from the American Psychological Association (APA), on “Psychological Influences on Decision Making”, has provided me with a unique perspective on decision-making and problem-solving. Understanding the cognitive processes behind feeling stuck allows me to identify patterns of thinking that may be holding me back and find ways to overcome them.

Life’s challenges often leave us feeling stuck in a rut. We feel like we can’t find a way out and it drags us further in until we lose our motivation to fight back. Don’t feel embarrassed, this is completely normal like a rite of passage that paves the way for personal growth. Our brains are wired to seek familiarity and avoid uncertainty, which makes it difficult to pull ourselves out of that rut.

The key is to acknowledge that you’re adrift and need help to unstuck yourself. Often, all it takes is a nudge in the right direction from a trusted friend, colleague, or even a therapist. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Talking it through with someone can provide fresh perspectives and reignite your spark.

What usually happens is that we’re too involved in a situation to view it clearly. Discussing it with someone on the outside helps us identify the block and find a solution. I have also found solace in my hobbies and interests. Whether it’s reading a good book, working out at the gym, tending to my garden, or exploring new cities, these activities have helped me recharge and gain a fresh perspective on life.

In my 15-year journey leading diverse business segments with revenues ranging from $20M to $300M, I’ve encountered numerous challenges. It was a difficult path, where every step forward seemed to come with its own set of obstacles. But talking to my wife, discussing the challenges, and getting an objective opinion has helped me find that missing piece that was in front of me but I was too overwhelmed to see it.

There were moments when the road ahead seemed impassable, and doubts crept in, threatening to derail my progress. Yet, with each stumble and fall, I found the strength to pick myself up, dust off the setbacks, and forge ahead. It was a journey of resilience and determination, where every setback served as a stepping stone to my ultimate goals.

Through it all, I learned that success is not just about reaching the destination but also about the journey itself. It’s about the lessons learned, the challenges overcome, and the resilience gained along the way.

My approach to business, like my approach to life, has been one of unwavering perseverance and a willingness to embrace new challenges. As I continue on this journey, I carry with me the lessons learned from each thorn, knowing that they have made me stronger, more resilient, and more determined than ever before.

C. 8 Tips To Break Free When Feeling Stuck in Life

Here are 8 powerful steps to get you moving forward again:

Reflect on Your Goals: Are your current goals still aligned with your values and aspirations? Take some time to reassess and realign your goals if necessary. Is it worth it to stay in a relationship where your partner makes you feel unhappy?
Identify Barriers: What’s holding you back? Is it fear, self-doubt, or external circumstances? Identifying these barriers is the first step to overcoming them. Is it the financial security, shared assets, or familial ties like children holding you back from ending the relationship?
Seek Support: You don’t have to go it alone. Reach out to friends, family, or a professional for guidance and support. Is there a friend or family member you can talk to for support? Maybe consider seeing a therapist for an objective opinion and regain the clarity and strength to see if the relationship is worth investing time in or if is it time to finally take the step and remove the negativity from your life.
Take Small Steps: Progress is progress, no matter how small. Break down your goals into manageable steps and celebrate each achievement along the way. What’s more important to you - the security blanket or finally living your life without the constant turmoil of an unhappy relationship?
Embrace Change: Sometimes, getting unstuck requires stepping out of your comfort zone. Be open to new experiences and opportunities. Change is difficult but it also brings with it the promise of a new beginning. Maybe once you step out of an unhappy relationship, you can regain the strength and find yourself to move on to a new and better beginning.
Stay Positive: A positive mindset can work wonders. Believe in yourself and your ability to overcome challenges. Tell yourself that you are worth it, you deserve more. Compromise should be about better outcomes not at the price of sacrificing yourself.
Practice Self-Care: Taking care of yourself is essential. Eat well, exercise, and make time for activities that nourish your soul. Take some time out, whether to go for a walk, to the spa, to read, or do anything that makes you feel at peace. These activities can help you look at the situation from a fresh perspective without the negative emotions dulling your brain.
Stay Flexible: Life is unpredictable. Be willing to adapt your plans as needed and embrace the journey, twists, and all. Mistakes happen, but learning from them paves the way for a brighter tomorrow.

D. Exploring the Causes of Feeling Stuck in Life

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”

— Helen Keller

Each of us is shaped by our circumstances and environment, thus having different triggers that influence our behavior and actions. Some may be quick to open the next door, while others may wait for some time, or never open the door.

However, while new opportunities may lie just beyond, feeling stuck can cloud our vision and make it difficult to even see, let alone open, those doors. Here's a closer look at the common causes that can keep us feeling trapped and unable to move forward:

I. Fear of Failure

The fear of failure can be a major obstacle to progress. It can prevent you from taking risks and trying new things, keeping you trapped in your comfort zone. Overcoming this fear involves challenging your beliefs about failure and learning to see it as a natural part of the learning process.

A 2017 study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin explored the association between fear of failure and goal setting. It found that a strong fear of failure can discourage individuals from setting goals or taking risks, potentially leading to feelings of stagnation and being stuck.

For example, taking up a new sport like I did with tennis at the age of 35 or switching from a stable job to starting my own business are two instances when I experienced this fear.

However, I would never have reached this point in my life or felt the success that came with these two choices. Like the exhilaration of winning a match against a seasoned opponent after uncountable defeats. Or running my business to achieve my vision and goals with the freedom and flexibility of being the owner.

Yes, the stakes are higher, but so are the rewards and the opportunities for personal and professional development.

II. Lack of Clarity

Not having a clear direction or goal can lead to feelings of stagnation. It’s important to take the time to reflect on what you truly want in life and what steps you need to take to achieve it. Setting clear, achievable goals can help you regain a sense of purpose and direction.

Whether you want a business of your own like I did or a stable job that offers growth, having clarity on the direction and goals sets the stage for your life journey. It can be as simple as going to the grocery store to pick up an ingredient for a recipe you’re trying for dinner and then getting sidetracked by other items you need. This leads to an uncooked dinner and time wasted when the goal was to have the dinner cooked on time.

Or it can be something more important like choosing a career based on stability and security rather than your passion and talent. It’s all about taking the leap with the end goal in mind.

III. Self-Doubt

Self-doubt is another powerful force that can keep you stuck and hinder your personal and professional growth. You may doubt your abilities or worth, making it hard to believe that you deserve success or happiness. Overcoming self-doubt requires challenging negative thoughts and beliefs, and building your confidence and self-esteem.

For example, you see a job opening that matches your skills perfectly. It could be a pivotal step in taking your career where you want. However, when you see the competition and experience of other candidates, you balk at the thought of applying.

You say to yourself, what’s the point of applying if I’ll never get the job? I still have to gain more experience or develop my skills. But how will you know if you never try? Maybe you’ll land the job or you won’t, but never trying will not get you anywhere.

Self-doubt can also be an obstacle in your relationships. Maybe you’ve been secretly admiring someone from a distance for years but the fear of rejection has always stopped you from approaching a potential life partner. As you wait, the person falls in love and gets married, with you never even getting a chance.

It’s important to challenge negative self-talk and build your self-confidence. Surrounding yourself with supportive and encouraging people can also help boost your self-esteem. Like your parents who always bolster your confidence or that close friend who always has your back.

IV. Negative Thought Patterns

Feeling stuck can often be fueled by the way you think about yourself and your situation. These patterns of thinking called cognitive distortions, act like a stuck record in your head, playing the same negative messages over and over.

How Do You Mentally Pull Yourself Out From Being Stuck In Life

Mindfulness As A Method To Pull Yourself Out From Being Stuck In Life

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy As A Method To Pull Yourself Out From Being Stuck In Life

Here are two common negative thought patterns and how they keep you stuck:

Catastrophizing: This is when you blow a situation way out of proportion, assuming the worst possible outcome. For example, not applying to your dream job because of the fear of rejection and inadequacy. These negative thought patterns can paralyze us, leading to missed opportunities.
Black-and-White Thinking: This involves seeing things in extremes, with no room for gray areas. Go back to the person you admired and thought you were out of their league. Imagining things because of external factors like appearance and behavior creates black-and-white scenarios that make us feel stuck and not act on our feelings.

Practicing mindfulness and cognitive-behavioral techniques can help you break free from these patterns and cultivate a more positive outlook. Here are two techniques to help you which are as follows:

Mindfulness: This practice involves focusing on the present moment and observing your thoughts without judgment. By becoming aware of your negative thoughts, you can start to question their validity.
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT): CBT helps you identify the distorted thinking patterns behind your negative thoughts and replace them with more realistic and helpful ones.

V. Lack of Support

Feeling isolated or unsupported can make it difficult to make changes in your life. Building a strong support network of friends, family, or mentors can provide you with the encouragement and guidance you need to move forward. A strong support network can be a powerful force that propels you forward.

For example, when I was facing the decision to leave my job, I was filled with uncertainty and fear about how I was going to manage without a stable income. I was scared of putting my family through struggle and the thought of failure was also plaguing me. It was my wife who gave me the courage to move forward and pursue my ambition, giving me the support I needed to take this monumental step.

E. Effects of Being Stuck in Life

Feeling stuck can have profound effects on your well-being, impacting various aspects of your life. It can lead to feelings of frustration, hopelessness, and even depression.

Relationships may suffer, and you may feel disconnected from others. Career advancement may stall, leading to feelings of stagnation and resentment. Physically, the stress of feeling stuck can weaken your immune system and lead to unhealthy habits.

I. Mental and Emotional Toll

Feeling stuck can take a toll on your mental and emotional health. It can lead to feelings of anxiety, stress, and even depression. You may feel trapped and unable to see a way forward, which can be incredibly challenging and overwhelming.

If you’re stuck in a job you hate, it can slowly pull you down, waking up in the morning feeling like a monumental chore. It sucks your energy, attracting negative emotions that lean toward feeling unhappy with everything in your life, even the positive aspects like your positive traits or strengths.

II. Impact on Relationships

Being stuck can also impact your relationships with others. You may feel disconnected from loved ones and struggle to communicate effectively. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

When you’re stuck in life, frustration becomes your best friend. Whether it’s because of school, work, or being in an unhappy relationship, you become irritable and closed off. Eventually, this can lead to others pulling away from you or vice versa.

III. Career and Financial Consequences

A survey conducted by Gallup found that 71% of employees feel disengaged at work, with many citing feeling stuck in their careers as a primary reason.

Another 2021 study by Oracle and Workplace Intelligence found that 80% of workers felt negatively impacted by the previous year, with many struggling with career motivation and a sense of disconnection from their own lives. It suggests a major portion of the population experiences challenges that could lead to feeling stuck.

This shows that feeling stuck in your career can have long-term consequences. It can prevent you from advancing professionally and may impact your financial stability, leading to feelings of dissatisfaction and regret.

Think back to the example of staying in a job you were not happy ith because you did not dare to apply for a better one. How will you feel another q0 years down the road in the same job?

IV. Physical Health Impact

The emotional turmoil of feeling stuck doesn't just affect your mind; it can wreak havoc on your physical well-being too. Here's how the stress of stagnation manifests in your body:

Weakened Immune System: Chronic stress caused by feeling stuck can suppress the immune system's ability to fight off illness. A 2012 study published in the journal Psychoneuroendocrinology found that chronic stress hormones like cortisol can impair the production and function of white blood cells, which are vital for fighting infections.
Increased Risk of Disease: The stress associated with feeling stuck can also contribute to the development of chronic conditions. A 2017 study published in the journal JAMA Internal Medicine found a link between chronic stress and an increased risk of heart disease, stroke, and type 2 diabetes.
Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms: When feeling stuck, individuals might turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like overeating or excessive alcohol consumption. A 2019 study published in the journal Appetite found that stress can lead to emotional eating, which can contribute to weight gain and other health problems.

Whether it’s a job with a high-pressure environment like meeting sales deadlines, an abusive relationship, mental or physical, consistent exposure to being stuck in situations and fearing to take the step to pull yourself out of it, can take a toll on you, both physically and emotionally.

By addressing the root causes of stagnation and finding healthy outlets for stress, you can protect your physical well-being and pave the way for a healthier and happier life.

F. Unlock Your Path: Steps to Take When Feeling Stuck in Life

Feeling stuck in life is a common experience, but it doesn’t have to be permanent. If we actively seek solutions to our problems, we are more likely to overcome obstacles and find success.

Here’s a success story to inspire us:

I. Hirosh: From Tokyo’s Streets to Tech Giant

In the heart of Tokyo, Hiroshi had a vision to revolutionize communication. He founded a tech startup in his apartment but faced financial struggles and investor disinterest. Despite setbacks, Hiroshi persisted.

Facing bankruptcy, Hiroshi’s determination never wavered. He tirelessly improved his product and attracted a crucial investment. His company, SoftBank, now a tech giant, is a testament to his perseverance.

Hiroshi’s story inspires entrepreneurs worldwide, showcasing the power of dedication and vision. His journey from Tokyo’s streets to a tech giant reminds us that with determination, anything is possible.

II. The Colonel's Climb: From Despair to Global Success

In the heart of Kentucky, Harland Sanders faced seemingly insurmountable challenges. Born in 1890, he struggled through various jobs, barely making ends meet. At 65, his life took a devastating turn when his restaurant burned down, leaving him in financial ruin. With no insurance and a meager Social Security check, he was at his lowest point.

Harland found himself on the brink of despair, even contemplating ending it all. But a glimmer of hope remained. He possessed a secret recipe for fried chicken that he believed could change his fortunes. With nothing left to lose, he set out to share his recipe with restaurant owners across the country.

Despite facing rejection after rejection, Harland persevered. After over 1,000 turn-downs, he finally found someone who saw the potential in his recipe. Opening a small restaurant, Harland’s delicious fried chicken quickly gained popularity.

Today, Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) is a global sensation, with thousands of restaurants worldwide. Harland Sanders’ journey is a shining example of resilience and perseverance, illustrating that no matter how trapped one may feel in life, there is always a path forward. His story serves as a beacon of hope for all those who feel stuck, reminding us that with unwavering determination and self-belief, we can break free from the shackles of despair and achieve great success.

G. Decyz POV on What to Do When You’re Stuck

“One day, you’re 17 and you’re planning for someday. And then quietly, without you ever really noticing, someday is today. And then someday is yesterday. And this is your life.”

— John Green

This quote reminds us that "someday" can easily become yesterday. Life isn't a waiting game; it's a journey to be actively experienced. Feeling stuck is a natural part of that journey, but it doesn't have to define you.

Stagnation thrives on passivity. The antidote? Action. No matter how small, each step forward disrupts the inertia of feeling stuck. Taking action, even when it's difficult, empowers you to break free from self-doubt and propel yourself towards your goals.

Self-discovery, a vital part of this process, involves embracing your whole self – strengths and weaknesses alike. Acknowledging and accepting all facets of ourselves, both positive and negative, we can cultivate a sense of self-compassion and empowerment, navigating life’s challenges with resilience and grace.

“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain. Vivian Greene, ”

— Vivian Greene

At Decyz, we recognize that life is all about the beauty of motion and self-discovery. Either we can live it with or it can pass us by. Nobody knows where the path will take us or when it will end.

There’s always a way out, even when life feels like ending. So take a deep breath, embrace the beauty of the unknown, and start moving. Life is waiting for you to dance.