Difficult Decisions In Life And 9 Steps To Deal With Them
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Life is a maze of choices, some routine and mundane while others are complex and challenging. Each difficult decision brings consequences that can get you closer to your desired outcome or throw you even further away. So how do you make the choice that’s right for you?
The truth is there’s no clear answer most of the time. Something as simple as waking up early for your morning walk is a decision some of us can make easily because we know it’s good for our health. But then how many of us are not morning people who struggle to get up even five minutes earlier from the cozy bed, hugging those last few minutes like a warm blanket?
All decisions are layered with tiny nuances, making their challenge unique for each person depending on their personality, circumstances, values, and environment. While the answer to such minor decisions may be clear, it’s not always easy to make those choices.
Then come the bigger and more difficult decisions that keep us up at night, weighing the pros and cons to make up our minds. That’s because the stakes are so much higher and the consequences can have a far-reaching impact on our life or the people we love. It could be something like deciding to separate from your partner because you are both unhappy with the relationship but thinking a hundred times because of your young kid who needs both of you.
A. The Paralysis of Difficult Decisions
There are ways of dealing with routine decisions. However, the difficult decisions described above can stir deep anxiety, self-doubt, and analysis paralysis as we torment ourselves trying to predict which choice will bring more regrets. These are choices where the right course of action isn't obvious and the significant, competing reasons are pulling you in multiple directions, with no perfect solution.
As former U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt puts it:
“In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing”
How do you get out of the paralysis when making difficult decisions? Is there a way to clear your mind, separate the doubts and the fears, and regain the clarity to make the right call?
This is what we are going to discuss in our blog, equipping you with the foresight and confidence to make decisions that are right for you, despite the gravity of the situation. Interested? Read our guide to learn how to tackle difficult decisions, and make choices that resonate with who you are and what you want to be!
B. The Meaning of Difficult Decisions
A difficult decision involves grappling with an issue that has no easy answers. It requires carefully evaluating all the potential outcomes and compromises. As the famous philosopher Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." These types of decisions force you to dig deep and truly examine your values, priorities, and ethics.
The Meaning of Difficult Decisions
Difficult decisions force us to grapple with uncertainty, risk, and the unknown. Even after diligent deliberation, there are still potential downsides, sacrifices, or tradeoffs we have to accept with each option and consequences we may not be able to foresee entirely.
This persistent lack of clarity is precisely what makes difficult decisions so tough. Our brains crave assurances and controlling outcomes – but in reality, life's biggest decisions are shot through with shades of gray and relativity. The more awake we become, the more we realize our core truths, priorities, and ideals are the only lighthouses to navigate by.
While difficult decisions are daunting, they also present incredible opportunities for self-discovery, intentional growth, and realizing the lives we envision for ourselves. As the Canadian writer Robin Sharma eloquently stated:
“What we fear most has never been our path to mastery.” The struggle and uncertainty are where wisdom is forged.”
Some examples of difficult decisions could include:
Deciding to quit a stable job to pursue a passion project
Choosing to move across the country for a career opportunity
Ending a long-term relationship that isn't working
Having to lay off employees during tough financial times
Deciding on medical treatment for a sick family member
The reason these choices are so difficult is that legitimate reasons are pulling you in different directions. Perhaps following your dreams requires risking financial stability. Or the ethical decision could cost you a promotion at work. With difficult decisions, there is typically no perfect solution where you can have everything you want.
As author Marie Forleo describes:
“This is where we get stuck - agonizing over which path to take, arguing with ourselves, hoping that somehow through intense inner turmoil, the correct choice will be revealed to us.”
In reality, extremely difficult life decisions simply have pros and cons no matter which way you go. The key is figuring out what you're willing to potentially sacrifice or compromise.
Maybe you are getting married for the second time and your child from the first marriage is having difficulty adjusting to a new parent figure. Or you’ve just found someone who you are willing to live your life with but they don’t want kids while you want a family.
Or the peer pressure teens face to act cool by smoking or doing recreational drugs just to fit in and make friends. These tough choices where priorities have to be considered and values aligned are some of the most difficult choices we make.
Another example can be: if your highest value is looking stylish and expressing your personal fashion sense, you may be willing to take a budgeting risk to buy an expensive Massimo Dutti suit. However, if saving money is paramount, then passing up that same opportunity may be the wiser call to maintain your financial goals.
Difficult decisions often reveal defining truths about who we are and what we believe in. As American author M.J. Ryan wrote:
“ At the end of the day, the questions we ask of ourselves determine the type of people that we will become.”
Those values we choose to honor or compromise shape our lives and identities.
While everyone wants the perfect answer to fall into place, true wisdom is understanding that difficult decisions are rarely black and white. It takes courage to make the choice that is truest to yourself and your principles, even if it's the more arduous path.
C. Why Taking Difficult Decisions Is Important?
While difficult decisions can be stressful and agonizing, we must face them head-on versus avoiding them. Putting off major life choices may provide temporary relief, but it also prevents you from progressing and achieving your full potential.
Difficult Decisions are Important
As Life Coach Tony Robbins says:
“In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.”
Avoiding difficult decisions prevents you from taking control and being the author of your destiny.
When you dodge a pivotal crossroads, you trade short-term discomfort for long-term regret, disappointment, and compromised integrity with yourself. Those opportunities for positive change, personal growth, or turnarounds rarely arise in the same way twice. Eleanor Roosevelt wisely stated:
“One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes.”
Not deciding is still a decision in itself - one that allows external circumstances and inertia to dictate your path instead of your values and vision. While difficult, leaning into life's crucible decisions allows you to sculpt your life's journey with clarity and conviction. The smartest and most successful people understand that life's biggest rewards come through intentional and courageous choices.
D. How To Make A Difficult Decision?
When faced with a difficult decision with no clear answer, it's important to have a systematic process for evaluating all the options and figuring out the best path forward. Making tough choices is part of everyday life, whether it's deciding on a job offer, dealing with a relationship issue, or any other dilemma. Here are some tips for how to approach a difficult decision:
5. How to Make a Difficult Decision.jpg
Identify the decision, writing the situation and the choice you have to make. Sometimes, all the traffic in your brain prevents you from a clear analysis. Putting it in writing makes space in your head to make better decisions. For example, should I take this job or not? Then make a list based on the following factors:
Gather all the relevant information and facts: Don't decide with incomplete data. Make sure you have all the key details, statistics, potential costs/benefits, etc. When my friend was deciding between two wedding venues, she made spreadsheets comparing all the amenities, costs, guest capacities, and more.
Write out all the potential options or alternatives: Even seemingly silly ideas - you want to be objective here and get everything out of your head and onto paper. When I was deciding on a new car, I looked at purchasing new, used, leasing, or potentially not getting one at all.
List the pros and cons of each option: What are the upsides and downsides? The potential good and bad consequences or implications? This will allow you to evaluate them side-by-side. For that car example, I wrote out costs, fuel efficiency, ratings, and how well it fits my lifestyle needs.
Identify your priorities and deciding factors: What's most important to you with this decision? Your core values, ethical boundaries, financial priorities, etc. For a major career decision, things like work-life balance, compensation, company culture, and growth opportunities may top the list.
Seek outside perspective: Run your thoughts by others who may be able to share a viewpoint you're missing. But be wary of inherently biased advice from people determined to push you one way. My mom has a tough choice on whether to move her mom to assisted living and she's getting opinions from several trusted relatives.
If possible, sleep on it: Giving your subconscious time to mull it over means you may have new considerations or insights arise. Giving your brain time to rest reduces brain fog and enables better decision making.
Listen to your intuition: Once you've rationally examined everything, what's your gut feeling? Our instincts can pick up on things our conscious minds may overlook. If you're getting a persistent bad feeling about an option, pay attention.
Have courage in your conviction: Once you've decided, own your choice fully. Don't keep second-guessing yourself or you'll drive yourself crazy. Trust in your process.
Learn from the experience: Few decisions are 100% perfect. Reflect on what you'd do differently next time. That's how we continue growing and making better choices. Nothing is wasted if you identify lessons.
The goal is to create a structured system that combines rational analysis with self-awareness and wisdom. It's a skill that takes practice, but mastering it allows you to make difficult decisions with confidence - and no regrets. Even small decisions around budget, routine, hobbies, etc. can have this process applied. The key is activating both the logical and intuitive parts of your brain before taking action.
E. Why Job Interviewers Love the "Difficult Decision" Question?
"Describe a difficult decision you had to make." This question comes up often during job interviews because it allows the interviewer to evaluate several key qualities:
Why Job Interviewers Love The Difficult Decision Question
Confidence - How you frame the difficulty and your decision-making process.
Research - The steps you took to gather information and weigh the options.
Strategic Thinking - Your ability to anticipate potential outcomes and plan ahead.
Self-Awareness - How well you understand your priorities and shortcomings.
Ethics - The moral and professional principles that guided your choice.
As Amy Gallo says in the Harvard Business Review:
“Your response will reveal your values, personality, decision-making abilities, and discipline.”
Tips for Answering Questions About Difficult Decisions at an Interview
When answering the difficult decision question, try to walk the interviewer through your thought process and decision-making strategy with logic and clarity. Here are a few tips to formulate the right answers:
Start by setting the scene and explaining the situation or dilemma you faced. "In my previous role, we had a 30% staff shortage due to hiring freezes and budget cuts..." This gives context to what was at stake.
Next, discuss the multiple paths or alternatives you considered. "I looked at options like hiring contractors, redistributing workloads, or implementing overtime..." Show that you carefully evaluated all the angles.
Then dive into the research, analysis, and principles that guided your final decision. "As a fiscally responsible manager, I analyzed the costs of each option..." Demonstrate the factors, data, or personal values that informed your choice.
Finally, conclude by stating the decision you ultimately made and why, as well as how you implemented it. "After weighing everything, I decided to... Because this solution allowed us to... While it wasn't perfect, I learned..."
If relevant, you can also share what you might do differently if faced with that situation again. This shows self-awareness and a willingness to continuously improve.
Tips To Answer Difficult Decisions At An Interview
Use real-life examples that illustrate your confidence, strategic thinking abilities, self-awareness, personal code of ethics, and decision-making process. An example from your professional experience is ideal, but you can also draw from major personal decisions if more suitable for the position.
A well-organized and logical answer with cohesive steps can transform this interview question into an opportunity to highlight your leadership, problem-solving, and critical thinking skills.
F. Examples of Difficult Decisions at Work
In the workplace, difficult decisions are common for those in leadership roles. Perhaps you had to:
Fire a high-performing employee who violated company policy
Decide which project or client to prioritize with limited resources
Turn down a lucrative business opportunity that went against ethical standards
Lay off employees and restructure the workforce during tough times
Stick to principles like honesty and transparency when it could hurt profits
As an example, Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz was faced with a difficult decision in 2008. After decades of rapid growth and expansion, the company was struggling with the effects of oversaturation and the economic recession. Schultz had to choose between following the advice of advisors and cutting costs and services - or making the difficult decision to temporarily close over 7,000 stores for retraining and refocusing on their core values and mission.
As Schultz said, "Authentic brands don't emerge from marketing cubicles or advertising agencies. They emanate from everything the company does." Starbucks' difficult decision to temporarily sacrifice short-term profits for long-term brand preservation ended up being the right move.
“Authentic brands don’t emerge from marketing cubicles or advertising agencies. They emanate from everything the company does.”
How I Made A Difficult Decision?
I left a stable corporate job to start my own business. On paper, it probably looked like a crazy move - I had a decent salary, good benefits, and a relatively stress-free routine. But I constantly felt restless, and unfulfilled. I knew there had to be something more.
After over a year of weighing the pros and cons, I decided to take the entrepreneurial leap. The prospect of potentially failing, going broke, and disrupting my family's life weighed heavily.
As American businessman Michael E. Gerber is quoted:
““All big things start small. the seed of every habit is a single, tiny decision”
Looking back now, walking away from that corporate gig to build something of my own from scratch was one of the most difficult yet best decisions I've ever made.
G. Examples of 5 Difficult Decisions in Life
In life, difficult decisions come in many forms beyond just career and work:
Examples Of Difficult Decisions
Ending a long-term relationship or getting divorced. British writer C.S. Lewis said:
“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable.”
Having to move an elderly parent into an assisted living facility against their wishes, for their health and safety.
Deciding whether to have a child when you or your partner has a chronic illness or disability that could be passed on.
Choosing between two promising career paths or opportunities that would take your life in very different directions. As the saying goes, "There are always roads not taken."
Removing a loved one from life support if they are brain-dead or in a vegetative state. No family wants to be faced with deciding when it's time to let go.
H. How to Make a Difficult Career Decision?
Major career decisions can be some of the most agonizing and stressful choices we face. Our work impacts nearly every other aspect of life - finances, lifestyle, identity, family situation, etc. With so much at stake, it's natural to feel paralyzed when having to decide between two radically different career paths.
Here are a few techniques to make better career decisions:
Tips To Make Difficult Career Decision
1. Be Honest with Yourself
Think about your priorities and non-negotiables. Make a list of your top life values - is it money, free time, creativity, intellectual challenge, or helping others? Then outline firm boundaries like refusing to relocate, working excessive hours, traveling constantly, or dealing with high stress.
2. Evaluate Your Career Options
Once you're clear on your core needs, assess your options. It may turn out that one opportunity while higher-paying, would mean infringing on other priorities like your family life or personal interests. Conversely, the "riskier" option of starting your own business could honor multiple values like freedom and passion, even if it has financial unpredictability.
3. Think of the Long-Term Possibilities
It's also wise to try projecting your future self into each scenario. How will you feel 5 or 10 years down each career path? Which choice aligns more with your bigger goals and purpose? Don't just look at short-term tradeoffs, but long-range fulfillment and regrets.
It’s important to understand that there is no path without compromises. The best you can do is make the most thoughtful decision that honors your authentic priorities and vision for your life. With diligent self-reflection and input from loved ones, you can navigate these difficult career crossroads confidently.
I. Difficult Decisions In Relationships
From dating to marriage to divorce, relationships are full of emotional decisions. it's easy to let feelings cloud your judgment or rationalize to avoid a painful truth.
In my experience, if you repeatedly find yourself trying to convince yourself or make excuses to stay in an unhealthy or unfulfilling relationship, that's your gut instinct telling you it's time to move on - no matter how difficult that may feel. As Maya Angelou says:
“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”
Some of the most difficult relationship decisions include:
Whether to break up with a long-term partner or get divorced.
When you've intertwined lives, finances, families, and histories, walking away can feel laced with guilt, fear, and doubt. However, staying in an unhappy relationship for the wrong reasons often leads to far more negativity festering.
Deciding between two people you have strong feelings for.
Perhaps you're with someone safe and comfortable, but an exciting new romantic interest has appeared. While the "logical" option may seem obvious from the outside, only you truly know which path will allow you to be your most authentic, fulfilled self.Navigating between your integrity and validating wing.
Dr. Harriet Lerner, the renowned relationship expert, advises tuning into your "Integrity Wing" versus your "Validating Wing."Your Integrity Wing represents your deepest needs and truth, while your Validating Wing compulsively seeks approval from others, even at the expense of your well-being. Difficult relationship choices require getting quiet and listening to your Integrity Wing amidst all the noise.
Relationship decisions form the stories and memories of our lives and facing them can be excruciating. But they also present immense opportunities for personal evolution, healing, and opening your heart to life's deepest joys and freedoms. In John Greene's words, "That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."
J. How to Decide Between Two Difficult Decisions?
Sometimes we agonize over decisions, and it is hard to decide between two things when both options are excellent - it's not about making the "right" choice, but accepting that either has trade-offs. For example, choosing between two great job offers, two romantic partners who check all the boxes, or where to go to college.
How to Make a Decision Between Two Things
In these cases, make a classic pros and cons list. But also try this mental exercise:
Envision what your life will look like 5 or 10 years down each path
Consider which decision lines up best with your core values and life philosophy
If the options were completely reversed, which would you regret passing up?
If after all that, you still feel truly torn, then you can't make a wrong choice. As American mythologist Joseph Campbell says:
“We must be willing to let go of the life we planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
K. Decyz POV - The Final Choice, Yay or Nay
Difficult decisions are a part of life - they shape our paths and define our growth and experiences. As humans, we often look for certainty and simple yes or no answers in a complex, nuanced world. The right choice is rarely obvious.
Have confidence in your ability to make tough calls and be at peace with your decisions. Accept mistakes and learn from them, understanding that what may have felt right in the 20s can change in the 30s.
At Decyz we realized that no decision is permanent, it’s reversible - choices can be revisited and corrected as you gather more life experience.
We also, seek motivation to cross the chasm of decision-making learning about wisdom through difficult decision-making quotes. Learning about the difficult decisions of people from different walks of life.
As speaker and author Terry Earthwrite Klassen said:
“Just make the decision and move powerfully in that direction. You’ll course correct as you go.”
Difficult decisions are rarely one-and-done events, but checkpoints to re-evaluate your priorities and stay true to your values over time.
Don't avoid or agonize over difficult decisions to the point of inertia and paralysis. As the age-old adage goes, "At the end of the day, we only regret the chances we didn't take." Growth comes from making the tough calls that shape who we want to become.
At their core, difficult decisions demand we look inward and honor our deepest wisdom, convictions, and authenticity - even when it's not the easy or popular path. As Oprah has said:
“With every experience, you alone are painting your canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice.”
Embrace that ownership over your life's journey. Approach life's crucibles armed with clarity on your priorities, confidence in your judgment, and faith that the difficulties we face are what mold our character and fulfillment. In the end, it's our difficult decisions that craft the lives we'll look back on with wholehearted pride.
